Aka. "Destination Anywhere", "The Boy and Girl from County Bavaria"... After a very intense year in Würzburg (Germany), I'm back in Salamanca. I probably won't have that many experiences to write, but there's always an excuse to post a new entry!

32.

"Hmm... massage oil. I would add that to the list" Angela suggested.
Tarja nodded in agreement and wrote it down on the piece of paper. She went through the shopping list once again.
"The decoration is ready" she muttered "I also have everything I need for dessert, aromatic candles for the bath, massage oil... Oh, wait! I forgot the cheese! I think the spinach pies will taste better with some cheese sauce."
"It would definitely sound delicious if I weren't allergic to spinach" Angela commented, giving Tarja a joking half-smile.
The Finn whacked her arm playfully and tore the sheet of paper out. Her friend and neighbour rested her elbow on the table.
"So, what's the occasion?" she wondered, looking from the list to the green-eyed woman.
"Six-month anniversary" the brunette replied.
"Don't you guys usually make a big fuss of special dates, no matter how many months have gone by?"
"Oh, this time it's going to be particularly special."
Before Angela had time to question her, Tarja had already got up. She carefully took one of the books from the living-room shelf and fumbled on the space it had left until she found what she wanted. Then, she put the book back to its place and took the box to Angela. The blonde raised an eyebrow.
"What is this?"
Instead of saying a word, the Finn opened the box. Her friend's blue eyes became twice their size as she saw it - a beautiful, golden ring.
"Oh my god! Are you serious?" she exclaimed.
"Totally" Tarja nodded.
Once she got over the initial shock, Angela swallowed. Popping the question was quite close to the top on her list of things she would never expect the Finn to do, only preceded by sleeping with a man and moving back to Finland.
"Wow... isn't it a bit too early for this, though?" she asked "I mean, you've only been dating for six months..."
"Well, we dated for almost a year the first time" Tarja retorted, closing the small box "So technically it's not that early. Besides, Liv and I are in love and know each other very well. I think it's quite appropriate, actually."
"Sorry to sound like a party pooper, but you are aware that gay marriage is not legal here, right?"
"Silly Angela! Of course I know!" she giggled "It's more like a symbol, you know? I just want to tell her that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Or else we can always spend a couple of days in Connecticut" she added with a grin.
"I'm honestly starting wonder if you're possessed or something" was Angela's response "Are you sure about this all? It's so... unlike you."
"I know it sounds rushed, but I don't think I had ever felt so sure about anyone. Do you know this kind of instant chemistry when you can understand the other person with just one look? Or when you feel that not even the tightest hug would be enough to feel them close?"
"The only chemistry I know is the one between me and a bottle of beer" the blonde joked.
Rolling her eyes, Tarja caught the hint and headed for the kitchen. She was also thirsty herself, so it wasn't such a bad idea.
"By the way, how did you become so cheesy?" Angela joked, following her "If this girl is brainwashing you, I really think you should consider it."
"Jerk" the Finn narrowed her eyes as she closed her hips to push the fridge closed "That wasn't cheesy, it was romantic!" she handed Angela the bottle "You'd understand it if you ever allowed yourself to go on a second date with someone."
Her lower back resting against one of the counters, the lawyer smiled casually. She took a sip of beer before defending herself.
"Hey, I am romantic. I know there's more to a relationship than sex. There are also free dinners, presents and then the possibility of more sex."
She could barely finish the phrase without laughing. Tarja shook her head and went back to the living-room.
"You know I was just kidding" Angela smiled as she sat back down at the table where they were before "I think Liv is a lovely lady, so if you are really sure about it, you guys totally have my blessing. Just had to make sure you're not rushing into things."
"Thank you for being so caring."
"Nah, you won't like me that much when I start sending you pics of hot Thai ladies to show you what you're missing" the blonde teased.
Seeing the puzzled frown on the Finn's face, Angela decided to explain it further. She tucked some blond waves behind her ear.
"You know I'm off next month, and just today I bought my plane tickets."
"Oh, so it's Thailand this year, then?"
"Yay. Sexual tourism, here I come!" the lawyer grinned "Too bad you can't come with me because you're embracing monogamy."
"You're going to annoy me with that forever, aren't you?" Tarja rolled her eyes playfully and had a sip of her beer.
"Nope, just a week more. I'm flying next Saturday. Then you'll be free for about a month. I want you to tell me everything about how your special night with Liv went though! And if you decide to have a big wedding in the end, I hope you're not celebrating it before I'm back!"

He couldn't believe he had made it in little more than ten minutes. In fact, he had been driving so fast that he almost had an accident. Luckily, his excitement only cost him a few middle fingers lifted at him.
Finally, after not hearing from her directly for a month, he had received a phone call from Johanna. Marco was beside himself with happiness, not only because she clearly sounded like she was feeling better, but also because she wanted to see him. So right after hanging up, he took his car and drove to Sharon's, looking forward to his girl.
As he looked over to his rearview mirror, he realized he was smiling like a reflex. In his head, he couldn't stop anticipating how everything would develop. She would probably greet him with a hug, and then apologize for not having called him herself. He would tell her he understood that she was going through a lot of pain. Then she would say she had missed him and they would kiss. After catching up for a while, she would go to the guest bedroom and pick her stuff up so they could go back home together. Once there, neither of them could resist the joy of being together again and they would end up making love passionately, telling each other "I love you" right after the final climax and falling asleep together, like in the early days.
He stepped out of the car, his heart racing. She was just on the other side of that wooden door. He could already see her smile, those green eyes looking at him lovingly. Excitedly, he rang the doorbell. He didn't even have to wait three seconds before she answered. Clearly, she had been waiting for him.
"Hello!" she said.
"Hello!" he replied with a happy smile.
And as he had predicted, they hugged each other tightly. With her head on his shoulder, he couldn't help but feel her scent. She smelled as lovely as usual.
Marco pulled away slowly so that he could give her a tender kiss. Nevertheless, the girl turned her face seemingly in the last second. He frowned. Was something wrong...?
"Let's sit down" she said cheerfully, taking his hand and leading him to the couch.
The Swede followed her. As bewildered as he was by her reaction, he didn't ask any questions. Nodding gently, he showed her that he was listening and she could start.
"I've missed you a lot" she began, which made him crack a smile "I'm sorry for not calling at all since I moved here, but I didn't want to speak to you until I was fully recovered. After all, you've been going through hell as well, and the last thing you needed was to hear me going on and on about it."
"No, it's ok, I understand" he replied "I missed you too."
He laced his fingers with hers tenderly. Johanna didn't respond to the gesture. All she did was watch their hands and swallow.
"I'm happy that you're feeling better" Marco squeezed her hand.
"Me too."
Her eyes were still fixed on their hands, but there was something sad in her expression. Slowly, Marco released her hand, beginning to wonder whether he had done something wrong. The girl spoke before he could say anything.
"I've been thinking a lot about my life, Marco - what I want to do, what makes me happy, about us... With all that's been going on, I've realized that I need some changes."
He felt his pulse accelerating. Changes? That didn't sound good...
"I'm not going back home" she continued "But I'm not staying here either. I think I need to be independent. You see, you and Cristina are adults, so I always feel like I'm being taken care of. It's time for me to be someplace where no-one can shield me from making mistakes or trying new experiences."
She took a breath. Marco narrowed his blue eyes, confused. What was she talking about? He had always given her absolute freedom to do whatever she liked.
"I believe I need to be surrounded by people my age. For the past year, we've been living like we were married. I haven't had the chance to do something immature, something crazy, in a long time. That's why I've decided to move to one of the campus apartments. I want to know what it's like to live with fellow students."
Marco couldn't believe what he was hearing. In his head, it made no sense. He and Johanna might be 19 years apart, but they had always understood each other perfectly. She had often said that she liked older people better than, for example, her classmates. Why the sudden change of heart? What difference would it make?
"Why?" he wanted to know.
"I know it sounds strange" this time it was her turn to take his hands, smiling reassuringly "But this whole story has opened my eyes. I almost became a mother, Marco. I almost gave up my youth way too early. This made me wonder what I might have been missing" she gazed deep into his eyes "This is not about you. You're the greatest man I've ever met and I will treasure each moment we've spent together. I just need to explore. Life is too short to skip parts on the way. Of course, we will still be best friends..."
So she was breaking up with him. A part of him had just been stabbed and was bleeding. Yet he couldn't be mad at her. As he processed all the things she had said, he realized that he understood her. She was right, after all. A young student in a foreign country should be out there having fun with her friends, not hanging out with a bunch of people who had already been through everything that could be new for her. It pained him terribly to let her go, but he just had to, no matter how much he loved her.
"I understand" he nodded seriously, not a trace of pain on his calm face "Then I guess this is goodbye..."
"It's not goodbye" she corrected him "Like I said, our friendship means a lot to me and I don't want to lose it. We'll see each other before you know."
"Alright. Then see you soon."
Smiling, she pulled him closer and gave him a friendly hug. No matter what she had said, to him it still felt like farewell, so he did his best not to get lost in her scent this time. It's over, a voice in his head said. He broke the embrace soon, knowing it wouldn't be a good idea to linger in her arms more than necessary, like friends do.
"Hope your new home is a nice place" he said before walking out the door "I wish you all the best."
"I wish you all the best, too" she agreed "See you, Marco."
He waved at her as he stepped out. There was no anger, no drama, not a bad reaction. Head bowed, he walked back to the car, keeping his cool. Only once he got in, did he let his pain show. He burrowed his head into the steering wheel, eyes tightly closed. There were no tears, at least not on the outside. Sighing sadly, he opened the glove compartment and had a look at the tiny box he was hiding there. What the hell was he thinking?! Knowing it would only make him feel worse, he stopped staring and closed the compartment again before driving off.
Cristina had just finished hanging the banner when she heard his keys on the door. Perfect timing, she thought to herself smiling. She jumped down the chair where she was standing, ready to shout "Surprise!" as soon as they walked in... But all her excitement faded as soon as she saw him. It was Marco alone, no trace of Johanna. Besides, she could immediately tell that something wasn't right. And the way his eyes became glassy at the sight of the phrase hanging above them - "Welcome back, Johanna!" - confirmed it. She gave him a questioning look, and all he did was shake his head.
"I'm so sorry, Marco!" she winced.
Quickly, she stood back up on the chair and removed the banner. The Swede sat down on the couch, devastated.
"What did she say?" Cristina asked carefully, joining him on the couch.
Before answering, he took a deep breath, as though he didn't even have the energy to tell the story. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper, almost emotionless. That gave her a shiver, for it was a clear sign that he was about to tear up.
"She needs some space" he narrated "She's moving to some campus apartment because she wants to be with younger people and explore a different way of life."
"Aww, I see" the Italian rubbed his arm in a friendly way "I guess she needs a change of scene to forget this whole thing."
"That's exactly what she said..."
He kept staring ahead, arms crossed in front of his chest. To Cristina, it looked like he was trying to protect himself. She hesitated whether to ask the next question or not.
"How do you feel?"
Finally, he turned his face to look at her. His expression showed no emotion, but it was plain to see that he was miserable on the inside.
"I guess I should have seen it coming" he merely said "After all the pain I've caused her..."
"Don't say that. None of this was your fault. You didn't get her pregnant on purpose, did you?"
"I know" the blond sighed "Still, I should have known it wouldn't last. A beautiful, educated young girl doesn't belong with a chubby carrier in his forties."
"Don't underestimate yourself" Cristina frowned softly "You're an attractive man, and you're not just some dumb truck driver, Marco. You know a lot about the world because you've travelled and experienced many things by yourself."
"That means nothing. She was too good for me anyway."
"Don't you dare to say that!" at that moment, he realized that the stereotype about Italians being fiery was indeed true, judging by Cristina's body language and how loud and passionately she spoke "I really like Johanna, but trust me, it's her loss. You could give her way more than any kid her age would, and you probably did. She's just confused and probably needs time to clear her mind. Don't blame it on yourself."
"Even so, I couldn't support her when she needed me most..."
A stray tear had begun rolling down his cheek. Cristina's heart melted at the sight of it. Losing his child and the woman he loved in the space of two months... She wanted to hold him, to tell him that none of that was his fault.
"You did your best."
"And that wasn't enough" he sighed "Don't try to cheer me up, Cristina. I was a fool for thinking that things could work between us. We have different needs" he turned to look at her, and the slight shade of red on his face almost made her want to cry "Wanna know something ridiculous? I bought her a ring. I was going to propose in the car once we had put all her stuff in the trunk. In fact, I was going to ask her to marry me after the trip, but decided to put it off because of the miscarriage. I thought it wasn't the right time. Well, of course it wasn't! It will never be!"
She had always known he loved Johanna, but only now did she realize how much he actually did. Even though she understood why the girl felt the urge to get away, if she had been there, she would have yelled at her for breaking that poor man's heart.
"That's not ridiculous" she murmured "I think it's really beautiful. Honestly, Johanna doesn't know what she's giving up on. Many women would die to have someone like you."
"A whiny idiot who's desperate to do things before it's too late?" he smiled wryly.
"No. A sensitive, caring man who would do anything to make the woman he loves feel special. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I'm not saying this to cheer you up - that's really how I see you, Marco."
For a moment, the Swede seemed to forget his pain. He narrowed his eyes to Cristina; not out of anger, but as though he was studying her. She wasn't intimidated by his gaze at all; she kept the contact, giving him a smile he couldn't really decipher. Suddenly he saw her in a different light. Like a magnet, his face moved closer and closer to hers, and it seemed to be mutual. And that was the first, but not the last kiss they both shared...